Long time no Blog PAARTUUHHH 2!!!!

Okay.. so again I was not able to blog about anything lately I have been cramming every series I promised I would watch and apparently it isn't very healthy. This past month I have done nothing but be a bum ever since I quite my Job all I did was watch Gintama, watch US series, read manga, read comics, eat, sleep, and look for training for pre employment requirements. It is amazing I manage to gain all the weight I lost that is how unmotivated my life right now is all I do is the same routine over and over again. I do sometimes study the folk lore and legends of multiple cultures but only if i stopped being lazy for a moment and decide to do something other than that nothing I do absolutely nothing the sad part is I don't even get enough rest. I don't know whats wrong with me I lost all motivation but I guess I can't complain that just how life goes I manage to ask mom about a new Gaming PC though she said yes so I'm happy about it I might get it in a few months or so but still gotta keep my fingers crossed.

So yeah  have no source of income now no savings since mom asked for my money and I don't think she has any plan of paying me back but what would I expect normally she disappoints me but I am used to it. I just want to move on with my life get all the training I need and be the best whatever I can be... be? doesn't if you know what I mean. I also stopped playing guild wars since the FUCKING LAG keeps getting me killed and the laptop which s owned by my brother is occupied by none other than my brother who apparently is very busy right now. Right now I don't know My room is being used by a Priest who is our guest for a few days so I haven't been using my room which is sad cause its my room. The Good thing though is I manage to find someone who sell SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI games so I am happy for that and I have more time to draw which sometimes bothers me because I'm not consistent in practice and what comes out is shit but no one gets to be Da Vinci in a Day so patience patience.. I gotta lay off FB...

Buy for now.. I want to say this not to any one it just came out of my mouth spontaneously I HATE EVERYONE!

Style and Clothing!

Lately I've been trying new styles of clothing for my self to try and improve what I already have I guess for a new and edgier me. It was fun trying out new stuff and they said it fit me so next was I tried to look the part well my body that is I worked out and stuff I lost the wait but gained a few again but i guess its okay I'll try and lose it again. so yeah this is the Blog I'm following right now when it comes to clothes
http://www.robbieoffduty.com/

You should check him out his street fashion is cool and looks good though some aren't really applicable to me i try to get what I need and I guess this is my way of giving credit :)

Post Long Due...

I haven't posted anything lately because of my hectic schedule haha really I just didn't feel like posting anything since I felt tired the entire week trying to keep up with my work schedule which is from 5pm to 2am and it really takes a toll on your body and Immunity and takes the motivation out of you but I have been happy with my daily life. The days really have been very draining for me since I get home really late and I still have to talk to someone when I get home so I sleep around 3:30am and I wake up around 10:30am so yeah I had my body clock mixed up. My diet as well has been poor since I stopped eating vegetables again and I eat less.

Most of my time has also been alotted for playing Torchlight II whch is an addicting dungeon crawler, Diablo III and Guild Wars 2. I don't even have time for facebok no more I just log-in check then Log out I dont even bother reading some of the blogs I follow anymore I have reverted back to my old ways playing and texting. A great part of my days as well is my cellphone I have been texting non-stop for the past 2 weeks of my life it has become more of an daily since I have to make contact with a lot of people and get in touch with to keep myself intouch with the happening outside work and the life of  people I owe money.While this was going on I have gained a new responsibilty of going to school on a schedule atleast thrice a week for a lunch to accompany a special someone.

So yeah I decided to post today since I felt like haven't posted anything since forever. I felt guilty for leaving blog empty like some toy I got tired of playing with. But I will post A lot more during the weekend since I will get my salary so that can only mean new adventures for me for a week then I'm bankrupt again haha! so yeah I a have fun weekend planned again all regarding food since my last salary all went into clothes and dating.. Btw Thanks to Lyza for reminding that I tsill have a blog haha

I found something a midst of my stormy life..

In the midst of my storms i found something I thought I wouldn't find at first i thought I was only being with it so that I could be sheltered from the raging winds of my stormy life. It was just a simple conversation that escalated quickly I guess she was blessing the calm after the storm and I think I will keep her even forever and I consider my lifetime with her a possibility even in a short while.

She makes me Happy...

I had a happy day! :D

 I guess my days will be brighter again.. :)

And with that we Move on...

I have my Guild Wars 2 already I bought new clothes and new shoes for myself and now I am officially an R.N. I can get my PRC ID by September and with all of that I can say I am not genuinely happy. Surprising really I mean I worked hard for all of those things but no I am not that happy I mean what you would say genuine like that when you wake up in the morning you can smile, you can be inspired always energized like I used too.

I guess I've been curled up in my thoughts trying to keep out my feelings from exploding out because I haven't really much given time for it I drowned myself in things to keep me preoccupied. I haven't really enjoyed anything since that day its been only a few weeks but it seemed like forever. I never bothered cause I thought it was okay but it ate me slowly inside I still think of her though like I wonder how she is doing because I haven't really tried to get in touch of her even look at her facebook.

Its not really her its more of a me problem I guess I cling to much on the idea that I could be with her but i went and messed it up. I guess I have to move on if I want to be happy again but It's not an easy but I have to I mean it won't kill me but it would seem like I'm being dishonest with myself but its would be the right thing to do. I'd rather lose a chance to be with her than totally lose her. In a sense its totally lost she probably hates me... hahaha She has the right too....

and with that.. moving on....

Blogging at work

I have been very busy this past days with all the stuff that has been going on in my life lately. I have so much to talk about I don't know where to start. This week has been crazy I want to really flip over I have no Idea what to do so I just went with the ride, I had a fight with mom, went crazy over board, drank, partied, and try to forget this growing pain in my chest and lately i have been developing symptoms maybe it has something to do with the stuff I have been doing I don't know trying to kill my thoughts I guess.

I felt so haunted with stuff with this past week I jus want to shut down and die at some point like today I woke up tired not wanting to go to work and looking at the ceiling telling myself over and over again "DIE!" but really I could never bring myself to pull the switch to send myself to death's sweet embrace I have to much in life to throw it away I mean i'm not into taking the easy way out. Well its a good thing I was able to access my blog here in the office even with its unrelenting firewalls and restrictions. I just want to scream right now and punch something something I have been wanting the entire week yet I act as if nothing is wrong even though my head is going through hell. I have been doing things I am not very proud of but what can I say I am not myself lately.