I grew up in the seaside under the care of a nanny,Nanay Oke, that took care of me 24/7 while my mom works for something to feed me with and try and save up for money for my future. Life back then was simple my Tatay Rudy took care of me when Nanay Oke was doing laundry so yeah he was disabled paralyzed waist down but he took care of me in the afternoon where he would make me wooden sword which i would play when I was in the seawall during hot afternoons or during the relaxing sunrise in the Seaport. My life was simple I was a loner most of the times unless with my cousins they were the closest thing I had to a friend. I was into a lot of fights as a child I was often ridiculed because of my fair skin. They often called me names like buaya or Batibot because i was different it made me sad an distant.
Four years of my life I did not know my father because he left us when The times I was born with no contact of what so ever though that's a story for another time. I was left not knowing who he was so basically that gave m some trust issues growing up I was silent, angry, and distant. It affected me in some way but when I finally got to meet my dad and introduced to my dad's family I was pampered to make up for the things they missed as I grew up I know they tried their best but at some point I wasn't really happy because my mom was sad and having a hard time because my lolo didn't want her till it escalated and we left.
Then I drew up in Youngfeild the a place filled with informal settlers and 50% of he crime population of Tacloban City yes It was thrilling yet I still had no friends. My mom didn't want me to play with some of the kids since their parents tend to spread rumors gossips and fights so as much as possible we didn't want to be tangled in that sort of problem so I was left to alone to play with myself though sometimes i try to go out mom would catch me and punish me for it. I still get into fights which sometimes causes me to go home with scars in my face and blood all over.
I never had much to be happy with cause I wasn't contented the only thing that could distract me was power rangers and cartoons. Then I got my brother most of the attention went to him even until now some what he still gets what he wants and I am left to endure with what I have most of the time I try to understand but still a bit disappointed and depressed. So yes it's like a pattern for me I never seem contented with the stuff and when it comes to friends I only had few which was good at lest i know they were honest. At some point I tried to belong to the cool kids but didn't work out I was to different hot tempered and quite and was a bit violent but I mellowed with age. When i transferred in to Sacred Heart School a school filled with rich Chinese descents where my cousin studied I started being more social and talk some more but it was over time i was still shy and was a bit silent till I met my best friend Anthony Stephen C. Yang which was one hell of a guy reckless has a bad mouth and was a great person to be with. I was finally happy with the things It sky rocketed until high school. It was all fun till I met M.R. the very first girl I was crazy about but in the long run I noticed I was just in love with the idea of having a girl friend rather than have a relationship with her it really screwed me up but i learned took me 3 years *Yes yes so sad* it was a learning curve I was more of miserable than happy. Yes, for a pubescent boy being in a relationship dating a girl you like was happiness now I think its stupid because you can be happy even though you're single.
Then I got into a relationship I was a happy little boy then again what did I know about happiness I was watching way to much TV teleserye and thought life was like that but I learned with my relationship with mae my 1st girlfriend that it wasn't all fun and games we broke up in one month she wasn't serious at all while I was I cried like a little bitch but I learned I got together with her again we lasted for 1 year and 8 months my longest run in a relationship. That relationship was more heart aches than happiness It was kind of one sided with me exerting all the effort and we had a some what distant relationship we would see each other for like an hour every month it was difficult but it was happiness for me but like everything else if you tend to get tired you leave it was tiring special we were oceans apart when we were in college.
In the long run yes I learned that happiness can come from anything from family or people or the little things we just need to appreciate things in a different point of view. Though I am a person who always see the bad things first like I view the worst case scenario and all other scenarios that go with it that is somehow my mind works but i manage to pull off a positive view because if you only see bad things you tend to look hope for a better scenario though its very difficult for me because like I said before I am actually a very negative person who try to stay positive. I see the world as a pile of garbage corrupted and stupid but I still hope that there are good people and it can all be turned around that is how I see the world though sometimes I get tired of trying to see the good in stuff be happy in the worst of cases like right now I am in a difficult spot but I am happy it gets tiring really cause Sometimes I just put up this happiness so that people will not bother me yet beyond all of this I manage to find happiness she keeps me inspired and happy and keeps me sane without her knowing... So what is your Happiness?
Nyahaha thats my post for today Bukas ko na i-edit haha!
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