I have my Guild Wars 2 already I bought new clothes and new shoes for myself and now I am officially an R.N. I can get my PRC ID by September and with all of that I can say I am not genuinely happy. Surprising really I mean I worked hard for all of those things but no I am not that happy I mean what you would say genuine like that when you wake up in the morning you can smile, you can be inspired always energized like I used too.
I guess I've been curled up in my thoughts trying to keep out my feelings from exploding out because I haven't really much given time for it I drowned myself in things to keep me preoccupied. I haven't really enjoyed anything since that day its been only a few weeks but it seemed like forever. I never bothered cause I thought it was okay but it ate me slowly inside I still think of her though like I wonder how she is doing because I haven't really tried to get in touch of her even look at her facebook.
Its not really her its more of a me problem I guess I cling to much on the idea that I could be with her but i went and messed it up. I guess I have to move on if I want to be happy again but It's not an easy but I have to I mean it won't kill me but it would seem like I'm being dishonest with myself but its would be the right thing to do. I'd rather lose a chance to be with her than totally lose her. In a sense its totally lost she probably hates me... hahaha She has the right too....
and with that.. moving on....
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